I talk to inanimate programs

Hey, Yahoo?

Yes, Lily?

Why you bein' a bitch?

Please clarify.

Why won't you let me access my e-mail?

What's your hurry?

I just e-mailed someone telling them I'm going to forward them stuff ASAP.

Now isn't that ironic...

Eat my shorts.

You know I only do it cause I love you.