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You Know You're From Massachusetts When...

The person driving in front of you is going 70 mph and you are cursing him for going too slow.

Check! I'm a horrible backseat driver.

When ordering a tonic, you mean a Coke...not quinine water.

*shrug* I call it soda, actually.

You actually enjoy driving around rotaries.

Do I look nuts? ...Don't answer that.

You almost feel disappointed when someone doesn't flip you the bird when you cut them off or steal their parking space.

I don't drive, really, and my dad's too nice to do that. I do, however, flip other people the bird, if they steal our parking space.

You know how to pronounce the names of towns like Worcester, Billerica, Haverhill, Barre and Cotuit.

Yep. And I've been to two of these, too.

You have driven to New Hampshire on a Sunday in order to get beer.

Hate beer. However, if they have wine in NH, please notify me.

You know that there are two Bulger brothers, and that they're both crooks.

Vaguely, yes.

You know what they sell at a packie.

What the hell is a packie?

You know at least one bar where you can get something to drink after last call.

I know *of* a bar or two, but I can never stay up that late, anyway.

You can actually find your way around Boston.

Yes. Despite the fact that I can get lost in my own backyard, with my sense of direction.

Evacuation Day is a recognized holiday.

Really?

You know what First Night is.

Yeppers

You know at least one guy named Sean, Pat, Whitey, Red, Bud or Seamus.

I know a 'Shawn', but that's about it. There *is* a buttload of Mikes, Matts, Kevins, and Brendans in my town, though.

You think the rest of the country owes you for Thanksgiving and Independence Day.

Damn straight it does!

You have never been to Cheers.

Unfortunately not.

When the words 'WICKED' and 'GOOD' go together.

Yeah, but 'cool', rather than 'good'.

You knew that there was no chance in hell that the Pats would move to Hartford.

This assumes that I know anything about football goings on.

You have gone to at least one party at UMass.

Check. Got hit on, too ^^;;;

The curse of the Bambino is taught in public schools.

It's a part of our cultural heritage!

You own a "Yankees Suck" shirt or hat.

I don't own one, but I've seen plenty.

You think Doug Flutie is the greatest athlete ever.

This assumes that I have *any* sports knowledge, beyond the most rudimentary.

You remember exactly where you were when the ball rolled through Buckner's legs.

In Ukraine, if this was before 1994.

You pray for the Red Sox to win the World Series not this season, but in your lifetime.

It'll happen! Just you wait!

You know how to make a frappe.

No, but I know how to drink one.

You know that "Big Dig" is also a kind of ice cream you can get at Brigham's.

I've had it. There are others I like better, but it's pretty good.

You actually know how to merge from 6 lanes of traffic down to one.

No tengo un license.

You never go to "Cape Cod", you go "down the Cape".

Well, where else would you go? ^_~

You think that Roger Clemens, Wade Boggs and Derek Jeter are more evil than Whitey Bulger.

They're about on par.

You went to Old Sturbridge Village, Plymouth Plantation, or both, on field trip in grammar school.

Middle school, mostly. And don't forget Salem!

You're aware that there is a town, somewhere in Massachusetts, named Brimfield where they have the biggest outdoor antique market in the world.

Really? Cool!

You can drive to the mountains and the ocean all in one day.

You call those mountains?

You know that the Mass Pike is some sort of strange weather dividing line.

Hehehehe

You know that P-Town isn't the name of a new rap group.

Whee! Provincetown! I was down there, in June.

You know that Ludlow is 90% Portuguese and that Fall River is 90% Lebanese.

No, I didn't know, but that's pretty neat.

You do not recognize the letter "R" as a part of the English language.

*blinks* There's a letter R?

You've called something "wicked pissa"

Uhhh... Noo.

You have driven to either Rhode Island, New Hampshire or Vermont for a tattoo.

Why would I? I can get on right in Harvard Square, if I wanted.

You see people like Steven Tyler (Aerosmith), Dicky Barret (The Mighty, Mighty Bosstones), and Evan Dando (The Lemonheads) in the local supermarket and it doesn't phase you.

Nah, I'm a fangirl. I'd still squee.

You've slammed on your brakes to deter a tailgater

The car and I are not in an owner/belonging relationship.

Know at least three Tony's, one Vinnie and a Frank(ie)

Yes on the Tonys; no on the others

Paranoia sets in if you can't see a Dunkin Donuts, ATM or CVS within eyeshot at all times.

You forgot Starbucks!

You keep an ice scraper and can of de-icer on the floor of your car...year round

Welcome to New England. Have a nice stay.

You still try to order curly fries from Burger King

Before my time.

You order iced coffee in January

I'm a Bostonian, not a masochist! (As much as people would like to believe that the two are synnonymous)

You know what candlepin bowling is

Who doesn't?

You drive 45 minutes to New Hampshire to save $5 in sales tax

...Or I could go to the Canadian border, and get stuff tax-free!

You've pulled out of a side street and used your car to block oncoming traffic so you can make a left.

I'll be sure to mention this one to my dad.

You've bragged about the money you've saved at The Christmas Tree Shop

Eh, they never have anything good. I don't care how cheap it is, if I don't want it to begin with.

You know what a "regular" coffee is

Too small?

You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from Massachusetts.

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